I have been on a PTA board and quite active in my kids schools for many years. The last two years I doubled up on PTA boards and helped at the elementary and junior high as the membership chair. I have loved being informed and part of making decisions for the schools that my kids enjoy attending.
This past fall my husband shared a few choice words about how he hated that I got so busy with school stuff and let stuff around the house slide. This frustration is understood because membership stuff takes up a lot of time during the fall. During these "discussions" I told him I would not volunteer for anything extra next year and take a break. I have been resolved to do this for him and my own sanity. It didn't seem like it would be such a hard thing.
Yesterday I received a phone call from the next PTA president for one of the schools with questions about training someone to take my position for next year. When that part of the conversation was over, she asked if I would head up the book fair next year. I explained that I was not going to be able to take on anything next year. She sounded irritated and exited the conversation quickly.
Now the guilt part. I don't feel guilting about promising my husband I would not take anything else on next year - my family is first, always. I would really like to see some more parents involved anyways. What I feel guilty about is having to actually say "no" knowing that it creates a burden for the person asking to find someone else - this knowing that I am an able body person capable of doing it. I just can't shake it and I wish I could!
Thursday, January 15, 2009
I have guilt.
Posted by kellieanne at 8:38 AM
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4 comments:
DO NOT FEEL GUILTY! Just say NO. Consider this permission--for either school, from me.
I know the feeling though and can commiserate with you--but it is really OK. And it is about dang time for new blood to help out on these PTA boards.
OK, I am taking a deep breath and getting another diet coke to deal with it.
Oh, Kellie! I understand your feelings, but you are again my hero for sticking to your guns! The person you told no will never have the full story, so just accept that they won't understand! You shouldn't feel like you need to feel bad for them because now they have to find someone else! It comes with the territory! It's not as if you're never going to volunteer again. You are the one who knows your situation and family needs best. I'm behind you 473%!
It's hard for me to let go of feelings like that without some big justification to ease my mind. But what I do know is that after those positions are filled with other people, you'll be so glad and feeling all light-as-a-cloudish! Until then kepp talking it out and you'll get tired of thinking about it. That's what I do anyway. :-)
It's not easy saying No. I'm sure with pratice you will get use to it. This next year will give you that chance to pratice. Enjoy the time that you focus on your family. I'm sure that this year will be one of your favorites when you look back on all your years of service.
Oh it's easy for me to say this, but I have a hard time telling people no too.
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